Identifying the need for some assistance in the home can be difficult. The problem is twofold. The individual who needs the care usually does not want to admit it. Or, because of the assistance that they are receiving from others, they do not see that they need help. Then there are the children, or other family members, who do not want to admit that the individual needs help. It becomes a matter of not wanting to admit that they are older and have more limitations on their physical or mental abilities. Admitting that the person you looked up to for advice or direction in life now needs that direction from you or someone else can be very difficult.
That realization does not come over night. It usually takes an acute event of some sort to bring it to the fore front. An acute event would include something like you going into the hospital unexpectedly. All of a sudden it is realized that there is now no one to go shopping or help with the laundry for Mom and Dad. There are some simple questions to ask yourself that will help you determine if you need some help for yourself or a family member:
1. What is the condition of their home environment? Are they keeping up? Is the house being cleaned every week?
2. Do they appear to be losing weight? Is there food in the refrigerator? Is there food in the cupboard? Does it change periodically? (This would indicate that they are using it.) What are some of the expiration dates on the food? Is food being stored properly?
3. When was the last time their medications were refilled? This may indicate that they are not taking their medications as prescribed. Or, do they seem to be running out of medication before they should? They may be forgetting and taking it too often.
4. Does it look like the mail is being opened regularly? Is it piled up in the corner? Have bank statements been reconciled every month?
5. Are they bathing and changing their clothes daily? Are the clothes they are wearing stained?
Make a list of all the things you do for your older relative. Be as detailed as possible. Keep the list for one week. As you do things on different days, add to the list. Share this list with others in the family. Should something happen to you, someone else will know what needs to be done.
Sunday, January 22, 2012
Saturday, January 14, 2012
Telephone...tag you're it
Do you remember the game"Telephone" most of us played as children? We would line up side by side, whisper something totally silly in one person's ear, they would whisper what they thought that they heard in the next person's ear and so on down the line. You were not allowed to repeat it and by the time it got to the end it was nothing like the original message.
I have used this method of illustrating the importance of accurate communication in classes that I have taught. It is easy to feel, "If I say it, they should be responsible for understanding it." Or "They should know what I meant." My children learned early on that if I did not turn and have eye contact with them that I probably was not listening to what they were saying. They learned to make sure that they got my full attention. I did the same with them as I was competing with TV, phone or radio.
Communication is 50-50. Everyone needs to take responsibility for what they say as well as what they hear. There are some simple techniques that can aid in this process.
1. Make eye contact when speaking or listening. Facial expressions and body language help us to understand and remember the message.
2. Avoid doing multiple tasks when you are supposed to be listening. Multi tasking is not conducive to listening and learning.
3. Repeat or summarize the communication for the sender so that you both know what was said is what was heard.
4. Do not be afraid to ask questions to clarify the information.
5. Do not be afraid to repeat anything that has been misunderstood.
6. Make your communication thorough, but not overly detailed. The message can get lost in too many details.
7. Be sensitive to the age of the person you are communicating with. Use verbiage that is consistent with their age.
8. Speak slower with an older person. Their brain does not process information s fast as it used to. Give them time to hear what you have said and formulate an answer or question.
If something is misunderstood, look back to figure out where the breakdown took place. This can help you to identify how this individual hears information, This can help you to provide information in a more effecient way the next time. Stop playing telephone tag.
I have used this method of illustrating the importance of accurate communication in classes that I have taught. It is easy to feel, "If I say it, they should be responsible for understanding it." Or "They should know what I meant." My children learned early on that if I did not turn and have eye contact with them that I probably was not listening to what they were saying. They learned to make sure that they got my full attention. I did the same with them as I was competing with TV, phone or radio.
Communication is 50-50. Everyone needs to take responsibility for what they say as well as what they hear. There are some simple techniques that can aid in this process.
1. Make eye contact when speaking or listening. Facial expressions and body language help us to understand and remember the message.
2. Avoid doing multiple tasks when you are supposed to be listening. Multi tasking is not conducive to listening and learning.
3. Repeat or summarize the communication for the sender so that you both know what was said is what was heard.
4. Do not be afraid to ask questions to clarify the information.
5. Do not be afraid to repeat anything that has been misunderstood.
6. Make your communication thorough, but not overly detailed. The message can get lost in too many details.
7. Be sensitive to the age of the person you are communicating with. Use verbiage that is consistent with their age.
8. Speak slower with an older person. Their brain does not process information s fast as it used to. Give them time to hear what you have said and formulate an answer or question.
If something is misunderstood, look back to figure out where the breakdown took place. This can help you to identify how this individual hears information, This can help you to provide information in a more effecient way the next time. Stop playing telephone tag.
Thursday, January 5, 2012
Procrastination
I did not invent this concept, but I can be one of the best at it. I make my husband crazy because I do not start to pack for vacation until right before we are ready to leave. He begins to pack days before to be sure that nothing is forgotten. Me? Not so much. When people tell my husband how organized I am at work, he thinks they are talking about someone else. My grandmother used the old cliche, "Do not put off until tomorrow what you can do today." (She was usually referring to the need for me to clean my room.) I have always had a tendency to wait until the last minute to do things. I tried to convince myself and others around me that I work better under pressure. I have heard many people use this excuse, and this may be true for some people. But, for most of us, the work that is created in a rush is usually not our best work. Things are missed and forgotten.
I have learned that procrastination has no place in the medical field. Missing or forgetting something could mean the difference between life and death or injury. Planning, implementation of the plan and reassessment is required in order to facilitate a successful outcome. Outcomes refer to the end result. To reach a successful outcome good assessment skills and good communications skills are required. Creating the best plan in the world for a patient means nothing if no one else understands, agrees with or undestands the plan.
Successful outcomes include the following basic ideas:
1. Assess the situation
2. Gather all the information that you can about the situation
3. Make a plan
4. Communicate your plan to others clearly
5. Put the plan into action
6. Reassess the plan. Did you meet your desired outcomes? Does the plan need to be revised?
This approach can be applied to anything from caring for an emergency room patient to planning your next picnic. Break the parts down, make lists as needed and always keep your "desired outcome" in mind. For the patient it may be for them to return to their previous state of health. For your picnic, it will be for everyone to relax and have a good time. (including yourself)
I have learned that procrastination has no place in the medical field. Missing or forgetting something could mean the difference between life and death or injury. Planning, implementation of the plan and reassessment is required in order to facilitate a successful outcome. Outcomes refer to the end result. To reach a successful outcome good assessment skills and good communications skills are required. Creating the best plan in the world for a patient means nothing if no one else understands, agrees with or undestands the plan.
Successful outcomes include the following basic ideas:
1. Assess the situation
2. Gather all the information that you can about the situation
3. Make a plan
4. Communicate your plan to others clearly
5. Put the plan into action
6. Reassess the plan. Did you meet your desired outcomes? Does the plan need to be revised?
This approach can be applied to anything from caring for an emergency room patient to planning your next picnic. Break the parts down, make lists as needed and always keep your "desired outcome" in mind. For the patient it may be for them to return to their previous state of health. For your picnic, it will be for everyone to relax and have a good time. (including yourself)
Thursday, December 29, 2011
Resolutions
The time has come to reassess what we have done over the past year and what we would like to accomplish in the coming year. Goals are good. But without a plan those goals will never be reached. The plan for reaching those goals needs to be flexible, reviewed regularly and adjusted frequently.
The same could be said for care giving. Setting a plan in place and never deviating is a recipe for disaster. One thing you can be sure of once you take on the care giving role is that nothing ever stays the same. The more you plan, the more God laughs.
Some suggestions:
1. Take your role as a care giver seriously, but do not take yourself too seriously. Accept the fact that you are going to make mistakes and forget things. You thought you were busy before, but now you are responsible for a whole other person. Yes, you will forget your hair appointment. You will remember the milk after you get back from the store (and that is the one item that you went out for). Allow yourself to be less than perfect.
2. Make lists for yourself. Break it down into each day if needed. Be as thorough as possible. When things are written down you will find yourself relaxing a bit more. A lot of time and energy is spent trying to remember what you wanted to do next. Refer to the list when those moments hit.
3. Accept the fact that you will probably not get everything on the list done each day. Always allow some time on the next days list for one or two items to flow over. This will help you to feel less stressed as the week progresses.
4. Ask for help. This cannot be emphasized enough. It is not easy to do. This is a skill that you will need to learn over time. Call a trained home care provider to assist you with this.
Do not forget to add some personal time to some of the lists. Without personal time you will quickly begin to feel overwhelmed and experience "burn out." This is very real and could be serious for your physical and mental health. Put in some time for laughter. If necessary, add sleep to the schedule. It sounds silly, but it can help you to remember that it is an important part of your over all health.
The same could be said for care giving. Setting a plan in place and never deviating is a recipe for disaster. One thing you can be sure of once you take on the care giving role is that nothing ever stays the same. The more you plan, the more God laughs.
Some suggestions:
1. Take your role as a care giver seriously, but do not take yourself too seriously. Accept the fact that you are going to make mistakes and forget things. You thought you were busy before, but now you are responsible for a whole other person. Yes, you will forget your hair appointment. You will remember the milk after you get back from the store (and that is the one item that you went out for). Allow yourself to be less than perfect.
2. Make lists for yourself. Break it down into each day if needed. Be as thorough as possible. When things are written down you will find yourself relaxing a bit more. A lot of time and energy is spent trying to remember what you wanted to do next. Refer to the list when those moments hit.
3. Accept the fact that you will probably not get everything on the list done each day. Always allow some time on the next days list for one or two items to flow over. This will help you to feel less stressed as the week progresses.
4. Ask for help. This cannot be emphasized enough. It is not easy to do. This is a skill that you will need to learn over time. Call a trained home care provider to assist you with this.
Do not forget to add some personal time to some of the lists. Without personal time you will quickly begin to feel overwhelmed and experience "burn out." This is very real and could be serious for your physical and mental health. Put in some time for laughter. If necessary, add sleep to the schedule. It sounds silly, but it can help you to remember that it is an important part of your over all health.
Thursday, December 22, 2011
Make your list and check it twice (or more)
At this time of year most people are trying to finish up all the last minute details in preparation for the holidays. In addition to the the daily work schedule, child care or caring for parents, there is decorating, shopping, gift wrapping, card sending, baking, cooking and RSVP'ing to parties. With some careful planning and list making most, if not all, of your plans can be accomplished without making yourself crazy. The lists should be titled "Have to" and "Want to".
The "Have to" list should include things that you cannot avoid doing. Food shopping, meal preparation, children's activities, cleaning, etc. The "Want to" list should include things that you would like to do. This would be decorating, baking or cooking for others, attending parties, etc.
If necessary, make a daily to do list. This way you can spread the wealth so to speak. It helps to keep you from putting things off or forgetting about your 7AM work meeting when you said that you would take the kids to school that morning. Check the list before you commit to anything. This time of year takes you out of your routine and it is easy to forget what you have previously agreed to do.
You may feel that you absolutely have to attend all the parties that you have been invited to, and you have to visit all the relatives within a three day period with home baked goodies and attend all the kids programs at school or church. Put all of these things on one of the two lists. Once it is on paper, staring you in the face you get a really clear idea of why you feel so overwhelmed.
Once you have everything down on paper you can begin to prioritize each of your lists. As you complete things on the list check them off. When you look back at the lists it is very satisfying to realize that you are accomplishing more than you think you are. Do not be afraid to schedule some down time for yourself. Put this on the "Have to" list. Downsize some things. Maybe you do not HAVE to decorate as much as you usually do or attend ALL the parties. Be realistic with your time.
Another suggestion is to delay some visits until after the New Year. For some the holidays are wonderfully busy times because of all the visitors and activities. After the flurry of activity they are again alone in their daily routine. This can be a dangerous time for developing depression. Schedule a visit with them for the week or so after the holidays. And bring the baked goodies. It may be a more relaxed and welcomed visit for both of you.
Making the lists, checking them twice and being honest with yourself about your time will possibly help you to feel more in control and relaxed. Do not attempt to just get through the holidays. Really ENJOY yourself and your family and friends this year. Happy holidays to all!!
The "Have to" list should include things that you cannot avoid doing. Food shopping, meal preparation, children's activities, cleaning, etc. The "Want to" list should include things that you would like to do. This would be decorating, baking or cooking for others, attending parties, etc.
If necessary, make a daily to do list. This way you can spread the wealth so to speak. It helps to keep you from putting things off or forgetting about your 7AM work meeting when you said that you would take the kids to school that morning. Check the list before you commit to anything. This time of year takes you out of your routine and it is easy to forget what you have previously agreed to do.
You may feel that you absolutely have to attend all the parties that you have been invited to, and you have to visit all the relatives within a three day period with home baked goodies and attend all the kids programs at school or church. Put all of these things on one of the two lists. Once it is on paper, staring you in the face you get a really clear idea of why you feel so overwhelmed.
Once you have everything down on paper you can begin to prioritize each of your lists. As you complete things on the list check them off. When you look back at the lists it is very satisfying to realize that you are accomplishing more than you think you are. Do not be afraid to schedule some down time for yourself. Put this on the "Have to" list. Downsize some things. Maybe you do not HAVE to decorate as much as you usually do or attend ALL the parties. Be realistic with your time.
Another suggestion is to delay some visits until after the New Year. For some the holidays are wonderfully busy times because of all the visitors and activities. After the flurry of activity they are again alone in their daily routine. This can be a dangerous time for developing depression. Schedule a visit with them for the week or so after the holidays. And bring the baked goodies. It may be a more relaxed and welcomed visit for both of you.
Making the lists, checking them twice and being honest with yourself about your time will possibly help you to feel more in control and relaxed. Do not attempt to just get through the holidays. Really ENJOY yourself and your family and friends this year. Happy holidays to all!!
Friday, December 16, 2011
R-E-S-P-E-C-T
Caregivers provide all kinds of assistance. This assistance can be shopping, it can be paying bills once a month or living with and providing care for someone 24 hours a day, seven days a week. It can also include long distance care assistance. Most people have difficulty seeing this as providing care. After all, what is the big deal to have to do something over the phone? There is no trouble attached to making a few phone calls, right?
Let's look at this a little ore closely. We can use the example of the son who lives 12 hours away from Mom. Mom develops an acute medical issue. Son makes some phone calls and appointments for Mom. He cancels meetings, rearranges his schedule and goes to see Mom. They go to the doctors and make a plan for treatment. Son comes back home, calls his siblings to let them know what has happened and reschedules all of the things he missed around Mom's upcoming treatment. His siblings are very supportive and genuinely offer to do whatever they can to help.
Mom, in the mean time, has decided that she does not want to go along with the plan. She needs time to think about things and insists that everything be cancelled. She agrees to a new plan, then cancels it again. The son, and his siblings, are constantly rescheduling their work lives and family obligations around these ever changing appointments. Mom, of course, does not see that any of this is an issue. She is concerned with her needs and is understandably nervous about all of the things going on in her life. She calls the son constantly to complain about how she feels or just to talk. The son is trying to be patient with Mom, after all she is experiencing something frightening. But, he is trying to work. Mom insisits that he call the doctor to request medication and report symptoms several times a day. Mom will not do it herself because, "You can get the information faster than I can". Mom does not take medication the way it was prescribed because the doctor "does not understand" and she knows better what will work and what won't. At one point the phone calls are coming 16-20 times each day.
Even though the son is not spending a lot of time with Mom physically, the thime spent on the phone becomes overwhelming and intrusive. For the son there is also a feeling of lack of control. He feels stressed thinking that if he were there he could cotrol the situation more effectively, but this is not always the case. Chances are Mom has been like this her entire life. As a younger woman it was better hidden. Now that she is older and needs some assistance with these things it is coming to light. Caregiving is caregiving, whether it is provided on site or long distance. Both are equally as difficult and time consuming, just in different ways. With the correct resources the family could assist Mom in her quest to be incontrol, but not make them feel as if they are crazy, or incompetent.
Asking questions of the doctor or nurse, calling someone who has worked with a homecare agency before are all ways to begin the quest for a solid agency.
Let's look at this a little ore closely. We can use the example of the son who lives 12 hours away from Mom. Mom develops an acute medical issue. Son makes some phone calls and appointments for Mom. He cancels meetings, rearranges his schedule and goes to see Mom. They go to the doctors and make a plan for treatment. Son comes back home, calls his siblings to let them know what has happened and reschedules all of the things he missed around Mom's upcoming treatment. His siblings are very supportive and genuinely offer to do whatever they can to help.
Mom, in the mean time, has decided that she does not want to go along with the plan. She needs time to think about things and insists that everything be cancelled. She agrees to a new plan, then cancels it again. The son, and his siblings, are constantly rescheduling their work lives and family obligations around these ever changing appointments. Mom, of course, does not see that any of this is an issue. She is concerned with her needs and is understandably nervous about all of the things going on in her life. She calls the son constantly to complain about how she feels or just to talk. The son is trying to be patient with Mom, after all she is experiencing something frightening. But, he is trying to work. Mom insisits that he call the doctor to request medication and report symptoms several times a day. Mom will not do it herself because, "You can get the information faster than I can". Mom does not take medication the way it was prescribed because the doctor "does not understand" and she knows better what will work and what won't. At one point the phone calls are coming 16-20 times each day.
Even though the son is not spending a lot of time with Mom physically, the thime spent on the phone becomes overwhelming and intrusive. For the son there is also a feeling of lack of control. He feels stressed thinking that if he were there he could cotrol the situation more effectively, but this is not always the case. Chances are Mom has been like this her entire life. As a younger woman it was better hidden. Now that she is older and needs some assistance with these things it is coming to light. Caregiving is caregiving, whether it is provided on site or long distance. Both are equally as difficult and time consuming, just in different ways. With the correct resources the family could assist Mom in her quest to be incontrol, but not make them feel as if they are crazy, or incompetent.
Asking questions of the doctor or nurse, calling someone who has worked with a homecare agency before are all ways to begin the quest for a solid agency.
Wednesday, December 7, 2011
Technophobic and Loving it
Technology is a wonderful thing. It allows us to discuss ideas and report breaking news with people from all over the world instantaneously. This is both a blessing and a curse. I come from a slightly different time. Phones were connected to the walls with wires and I have memories of "party lines". For those who are too young to know what I am talking about, this is when you had to share a phone line with one or more families in the neighborhood. I remember my mother complaining about not being able to make a phone call because every time she picked up the phone someone was already on the line. It was a big deal when cordless phones came on the scene. They were large and had long antennas. Answering machines did not exist yet. Televisions were not just in color but had remote controls. Ask anyone under the age of thirty about TV dials or adjusting the TV antenna and they will look at you like you have lost it. Pagers were next which was a big step up for my generation.
Fast forward- we are now impatient if someone does not immediately fax or e mail us the information that we are looking for. We no longer have to keep trying to "catch" someone at home. We can get them on their cell phone almost immediately. This technology has also allowed those of us in the medical field to more quickly and appropriately begin treatment because we have access to medical records more quickly.
I have come kicking and screaming into the 21st century regarding technology. My learning curve with technology is very steep. But, I am learning to embrace it. We have recently started a weekly internet radio show that we broadcast from our office. I have never done anything like this before and it has been a great learning experience. We interview people every week who have great information to share with everyone. Our problem has been that dreaded learning curve. I am having trouble getting us set on a "channel".
In order to listen to the recorded programs it is necessary to log in different ways since the first few programs were recorded under different tiles due to technical difficulties. We are learning how to do this and hope everyone will bear with us while we work out the kinks. There is a link on this site that will take you to what is now the main channel. For the other two programs that have been recorded you will need to go to ustream.com and look under Senior Moments with Nurse Linda or seniormomentwithnurselinda. The programs are cute but raw. We are working out sound and lighting issues but the guests we have had on the show have been gracious and very informative. The programs are recorded with both audio and video. We have a good time and hope anyone that watches has a good time as well.
Fast forward- we are now impatient if someone does not immediately fax or e mail us the information that we are looking for. We no longer have to keep trying to "catch" someone at home. We can get them on their cell phone almost immediately. This technology has also allowed those of us in the medical field to more quickly and appropriately begin treatment because we have access to medical records more quickly.
I have come kicking and screaming into the 21st century regarding technology. My learning curve with technology is very steep. But, I am learning to embrace it. We have recently started a weekly internet radio show that we broadcast from our office. I have never done anything like this before and it has been a great learning experience. We interview people every week who have great information to share with everyone. Our problem has been that dreaded learning curve. I am having trouble getting us set on a "channel".
In order to listen to the recorded programs it is necessary to log in different ways since the first few programs were recorded under different tiles due to technical difficulties. We are learning how to do this and hope everyone will bear with us while we work out the kinks. There is a link on this site that will take you to what is now the main channel. For the other two programs that have been recorded you will need to go to ustream.com and look under Senior Moments with Nurse Linda or seniormomentwithnurselinda. The programs are cute but raw. We are working out sound and lighting issues but the guests we have had on the show have been gracious and very informative. The programs are recorded with both audio and video. We have a good time and hope anyone that watches has a good time as well.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)