Turning the Page

     Identifying the need for some assistance in the home can be difficult.  The problem is twofold.  The individual who needs the care usually does not want to admit it.  Or, because of the assistance that they are receiving from others, they do not see that they need help.  Then there are the children, or other family members, who do not want to admit that the individual needs help.  It becomes a matter of not wanting to admit that they are older and have more limitations on their physical or mental abilities.  Admitting that the person you looked up to for advice or direction in life now needs that direction from you or someone else can be very difficult.
     That realization does not come over night.  It usually takes an acute event of some sort to bring it to the fore front.  An acute event would include something like you going into the hospital unexpectedly.  All of a sudden it is realized that there is now no one to go shopping or help with the laundry for Mom and Dad.  There are some simple questions to ask yourself that will help you determine if you need some help for yourself or a family member:
1. What is the condition of their home environment?  Are they keeping up?  Is the house being cleaned every week? 
2. Do they appear to be losing weight?  Is there food in the refrigerator?  Is there food in the cupboard?  Does it change periodically?  (This would indicate that they are using it.)  What are some of the expiration dates on the food?  Is food being stored properly?
3. When was the last time their medications were refilled?  This may indicate that they are not taking their medications as prescribed.  Or, do they seem to be running out of medication before they should?  They may be forgetting and taking it too often.
4. Does it look like the mail is being opened regularly?  Is it piled up in the corner?  Have bank statements been reconciled every month?
5. Are they bathing and changing their clothes daily?  Are the clothes they are wearing stained?
     Make a list of all the things you do for your older relative.  Be as detailed as possible.  Keep the list for one week.  As you do things on different days, add to the list.  Share this list with others in the family.  Should something happen to you, someone else will know what needs to be done.